Cinnamon Roll Can Explodes Inside Man’s Butt During Shoplifting Incident

Cinnamon Roll Can Explodes Inside Man’s Butt During Shoplifting Incident

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CINNAMON ROLL CAN EXPLODES IN MAN’S BUTT WHILE SHOPLIFTING AT WALMART

Las Vegas – Martin Klein, 41 of Las Vegas, was arrested after a shopping lifting incident turned horribly wrong. According to reports, Mr. Klein and his partner, Jerry Weis, had stolen several grocery items from the Las Vegas Walmart.

Reportedly, Klein and Weis had entered the Las Vegas Walmart at approximately 11 A.M. and headed towards the breakfast food aisle. Both of the men had taken several cans of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls from the aisle and headed towards the bathroom. According to CCTV footage, Klein and his partner entered the restroom and stayed inside for nearly 20 minutes before exiting.

“I had went to the bathroom to wash my hands when I heard a man in one of the stalls moaning. I had no idea what was happening. I washed my hands and went back to my station in the deli department,” said Johnathan Peterson, an employee of the store.

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When Klein was approached by Walmart Security after they had witnessed the two men enter the restroom, Klein told his partner to find his mother in the front of the store. “I asked Mr. Klein to show me the items he had taken into the restroom,” said Michael Jones, a security guard at Walmart. “Mr. Klein denied taking any items into the restroom and then he walked away toward the front of the store. I followed him as he met up with the other person he was in the restroom with. I grabbed Mr. Klein and that’s when his friend squeezed KY Jelly in my face. KY got all in my eyes and on the floor. I attempted to grab Mr. Klein and that’s when both of us fell. I fell on top of him and that is when I heard a loud popping noise. Mr. Klein screamed loudly and then fluid started running from his backside. It was so disgusting but at least I caught the suspect.”

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According to eyewitnesses, the EMT that treated Klein on the scene said the Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll can exploded due to the amount of pressure inside Klein’s anus coupled with the shocked of the fall. The can and its contents were removed from Mr. Klein. Mr. Klein was treated for his injuries and then placed into the custody of Las Vegas Police. Jerry Weis, the other suspect in the shoplifting incident, was also arrested. Weis gave a bizarre statement to authorities upon his arrest, “I hope my Mr. Martini will be ok. We just wanted to spice up the love making tonight with something sweet and thought that some Cinnamon Rolls would do the trick. Well at least my darling got the Cinnabuns he wanted. I hope he has some leftovers for me to try.”

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Both men are being held on a $3000 bond.


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  • R Daneel Olivaw

    you just can’t make stuff like this up when dealing with Progressives, Democrats and Lefty’s in general.

    • Dennis Davison

      Yes, you can make this stuff up. This is satire. Most people would have picked up on that…But given your statement about politics, I would assume you are not equipped to understand what that is.

    • Sharon M

      R u for real, this shzz is fake. Any excuse to get political against the “the good side.” Now go crawl back under dark rock from which you crawled out. Dumbazz. Lol

    • Alex Paylor

      Actually they did make it up and apparently reeled you in hook, line, and sinker. And I don’t see the point you are trying to make about progressives and lefties. How do you get there from this story? Are you a Trumpster? If so you have been suckered twice.

    • Doc Decepticon

      There are no “good politicians”. At one point they served a purpose but have become bottom feeding, tax dollar eating money whores out to serve their needs. If you think the Right is looking out for you, wake up.

    • January Sterling

      It makes sense that you would believe this story is real, since you believe everything Trump says is true.

  • CleanSideUp

    Things like this is why the rest of the world hates the US LOL

  • Lindsay Thompson

    Pull your heads out, you saps. This is a fake news site.

    • Broc Lauderdale

      Its on the Internet. Its real

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  • Alvin Chipmunk

    Clinton donors?

    • Megan Wenger

      What does that have to do with anything?

      • Doc Decepticon

        He obviously wants to turn it into something that it isn’t, like some sort of political ploy.

  • Mitch McCracken

    What a load of shi…uh cinnamon buns. First of all, there is more than one Walmart in Las Vegas. Secondly, there is no such thing as the Las Vegas Police Department. The police in Las Vegas and surrounding towns is called the Metro Police Department. If you’re gonna make shit up, do your homework. For those who said you can’t make stuff like this up, uh yes you can.

    • Doc Decepticon

      The article is obviously a “Onion” style article, ment to entertain, not inform.

      • Mitch McCracken

        They failed, to entertain it must be believable. This wasn’t.

        • Doc Decepticon

          Then you have quite a stringent definition of entertainment, or you simply don’t want to be called out on your lack of understanding. I feel like it’s the latter.

          • Mitch McCracken

            Well, let’s see good doctor. I thought when there was a place to make comments, it was okay to make them. I didn’t know I needed your permission or approval. Pretty opinionated about someone you don’t know and at least I use my real name instead of hiding behind a bogus one. What you think of my opinion means nothing to me. I won’t respond to any more of your comments, you seem awful defensive for some reason. What I understand is this article is full of bad grammar and misinformation. I pointed that out. Have a good day.

  • Daryl Watson

    You can’t fix stupid.

  • Javier Serna

    Pop ‘n’ not so fresh. Lol